Tuesday, November 08, 2005

That's it, we're moving to Germany.

The Kansas Board of Education has voted six to four for setting new "science standards" that will allow doubt to be cast on the theory of evolution. Now, I'm all for the questioning and reworking (even debunking) of any theory through research and new evidence, but what I read next struck fear into my cold, damned heart:

In addition, the board rewrote the definition of science, so that it is no longer limited to the search for natural explanations of phenomena.

Um. Is the Kansas Board of Education really allowed to do that?

Either way, as I'm sure that, when the time comes, we'll be in the first lot tagged for "correction", I've had our bags packed and our tickets pending.

11 comments:

Jess said...

out of the schools...the state...the whole damn country. start booking your tickets now. I'm positive I've already got a nice red check by my name on some list, somewhere.

Mike Garvey said...

I remember a few years back I spoke to a friend of mine who was a pretty avid church-goer. This was before creationism was changed to intelligent design. I don’t remember how, but as often happens in my world, our conversation got around to monkeys and I cracked a Scopes trial joke. She got all stern, looked me straight in the eyes and said “I am not related to any monkeys…” The look on her face was one of complete disgust, as if I had suggested her actual physical being was composed of nothing more than smutty fetish porn or something.

This is what I don’t get. It’s not a right or wrong thing with the religiously strict; it’s that the very idea of evolution makes them queasy. As if having monkey blood in there somewhere takes them further away from God, just like being part demon would.

I think everyone needs to cool off a bit and watch a little Inherit the Wind.

Johnny said...

I too, believe, along with Garv, that cooler heads should prevail. I just think the cool should come from the localized nuclear winter resultant from dropping a tactical thermonuclear bomb in Topeka. "Ah jest don't unnastand whar all the 'Merican jahbs are goin'? We're learnen 'em Bible words fast as we can."

Greg said...

So how are they going to redefine science? Here are my thoughts:

1. Comprehension of the One True God's miracles, including His ineffable decision to make non-christians.

2. Godless liberal blatherings originating from the forked tongue of the Low One himself, he who is Satan.

3. On ending the separation of Church and State: Our founding fathers must've been a little too drunk that night.

4. That joy-joy feeling down in my heart is not a monkey!

5. Christian Science: the real stuff was just too hard.

Jess said...

Or:
6. The disregard for "natural explanations for phenomena" in the face of the much more convincing "it's all a test of faith" argument. Everyone knows those thunder lizard bones were planted.

Peter said...

I just wrote and deleted a long comment. F#@k it, that's bar talk.

I want a thunder lizard of my very own.

Alex said...

I've known for many years that they'll come for me some day. Between my Catholic heritage, my loud mouth, and my history of going toe-to-toe with the Christian Coalition, I'm boned. Once the militia become strong enough to take a state or two, things will start getting troublesome. The federal govt will not intercede, since they will want Jesus as American Emporer just as much as the militia. Once the war starts, my name will be logged. Once the central and southern states win, I and mine will be rounded up for processing.

And that's abbreviated from the bar talk.

goose said...

Guys Guys Guys. Holy Schmoley everyone please take a breath. Thing #1: No one is "coming for you" I promise, (I knew they had absinthe at that tavern!)Thing #2: I posted something about this back in September stating that Darwin has a "theory" just like ID is a "theory". Personally, I think both have elements that are correct. The Creator made everything in the beginning, and undoubtedly, in His ethereal, Omniscient wisdom made things with the ability to evolve, which they have. (Which begs the joke, "If we evolved from apes,why are they still here?")

If both of these theories are taught alongside one another it could just merely be people's right to espouse or promulgate differing thoughts on a given topic, not an attempt to "take over". Personally, I don't really care because I know that for all of the secular state BS, the founding fathers never intended this country to be that way. This nation was founded on Judeo-Christian notions, history shows that. If separation of church and state is such a huge deal why do we not then have massive protests over the White House Christmas Tree, hell they should burn it down right?

Good Lord, there are far more pressing issues in this nation to worry about than whether or not a state decides to teach a differing theory. Oregon has approved physician assisted suicide, that's against the Hippocratic oath, and has questionable legality in and of itself. People are hungry, oil companies are under hearings for gouging, I think this is the least of our problems. I highly doubt the Kansas decision will foment such a change nationwide. Don't worry, rest easy, and those people outside your windows with torches and pitchforks are only checking out the neighborhood! Oh and Jess, excellent article to provoke discussion, my hat's off to you!!

Anonymous said...

I'm so moving to Dover, PA. And not feeling even a little bad. Hell is on my itinerary anyhows.

Anonymous said...

As far as I'm concerned the two things aren't even part of the same argument. Countering "we evolved" with "jesus loves you" is the same as countering "i have a second-hand apron" with "jesus loves you."

One cannot replace an effort to find natural explanations for phenomena with a theorem that states there is no natural explanation: the one is not a replacement for the other by logical definition. They are not so much finding an alternative explanation for a particular scientific theory as they are simply removing science from the equation.

The theory of evolution isn't out there, menacingly threatening passers-by with its jaw-dropping dogma. It is a pursuit, a theory, a work in progress; the kind old man who would like nothing better than to borrow your ear in the park. I don't know about you but I'd feel just a little guilty taking the guy out with my mighty god-stick.

John

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