You have to offer a ride to a family whose two pickups have broken down.
Your father yells "Nice dress!" in the church parking lot, and three scantily clad guests turn and smile.
The dance floor is empty for Al Green, but everyone gets up and sings along with "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy."
You have to time your trips to the bathroom around the groups of pot-smokers who will no doubt kick your ass just for being straight.
The bottles of wine on the tables have pasted-on, photo-shopped images of the bride and groom.
The newlyweds get the floor to themselves for a very special dance to Nine Inch Nails' "Closer".
and...
The maid of honor has to go on a beer run when the bar runs dry at nine thirty.
5 comments:
Are those things all true? Holy crap!
all true! and much more that's not fit to print.
Is that nine thirty a.m. or p.m.?
Premonitions Beers?, You should know better. We only get up and have a group line dance to Achey Breaky Heart, forget this new-fangled pop/country stuff, we dun gonna need the good ol' cowboy music, WT degenerates that we are;)
and remember, it's essential to keep the bar stocked with strictly coors light.
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