I just tested the mood waters and they're looking murky. Which means that today is the perfect day to put a few of my dark plans into motion.
1. Start all-out war with the mailman: I swear, whenever I'm anywhere outside, he refuses to deliver. So, today, I will park myself on the porch at three o'clock with my most basilisk glare and dare him to walk by.
2. Booby-trap the garbage cans: I don't know what makes our trash so damned irresistable to the dregs of Buffalo, but I've a good notion that some expertly positioned glass and other sharp savories will set things right.
3. Set about mastering space and time: Our street has been acting the part of a wormhole for local bums. It seems to offer the quickest path between the hospital and the 'loaves n' fishes', or the liquor store and the gas station, or the coffee shop and the blood bank, or wherever it is that they go. It's really a simple matter. All I have to do is either close the entrances or create a new interspatial route. I think it involves "strings". Perhaps I should do a little more reading first.
4. Quit smoking: Why not? I'm already in a lousy mood. And I figure it would lend itself nicely to the "The Good Times are Killing Me" playlist I've been meaning to make. Given up fags and drugs now, baby. (Am I allowed to quote two bands in the same breath?)
5. Buy a new pair of shitkicker shoes: Cuz it's all about appearances.
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