Dearest.

My mom was striving to be sweet this weekend.

Mom: "We watched Proof the other night and I was struck by how much Gwyneth Paltrow reminded me of you."
J: "Ugh. I'm sure you mean it as a compliment, but I'm really just offended by the comparison."
M: "Well, it was more the lack of makeup and the undone hair. And her coloring."
J: "Not every fair-haired actress looks like me. It hurts that you've got me reduced to 'blonde and blue'."
M: "And her clothes--"
J: "It's the fake British accent isn't it?"
M: "--scarves, hats, cargoes and tee shirts--"
J: "Or maybe the pretentiousness? --pretention? --pretense?"
(Pause)
M: "Oh, and she was also completely crazy like you."
J: "Well, now that I'll take as a compliment."