Wednesday, March 01, 2006
My poor nerves.
Just had the misfortune to watch the steaming pile that is Pride and Prejudice. It was a couple of open-collared shirts and a few loosely stitched buttons away from being a complete harlequin perversion. The gross improprieties! The shocking character miswrites! The contrived moonlight, and rainstorms, and misty morning meetings! Does one really need to sex up the greatest romance novel of all time? And while I love Mr. Darcy in any incarnation, my dislike of Keira Knightly is now resolute. Jutting collarbones may be attractive, but jutting jaws are not and I fear her Elizabeth Bennet was less "spirited English girl" and more "stubborn English bulldog." What good are a pair of fine eyes when accompanied by lesser talents?
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3 comments:
'Steaming Pile' Is the best term I have ever heard to describe a movie adaptation of a classic. Have you noticed they all tend to be ass, though? Great Expectations: garbage. Pride and Prejudice: Worse. Bartleby was ok, actually, but i blame Crispin Glover for that. Motherfucker lets his wierd shine through. I am hoping for adaptations of Ethan Frome soon, or maybe The Bell Jar(yes, I know you like it, but imagine how HORRIBLE a movie version would be) so that way I can go into a theater and see if I manage to beat myself senseless to escape the pain.
In their defense, Ang Lee's Sense and Sensibility and the A&E Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice are both EXCELLENT. But, otherwise, I agree. I'm just waiting for Mr. Jackson to get his grubby hands on Madeline L'Engle's body of work. Oh, the rapine.
Oh man...I wonder how much WEGA would work on Progonosis? Or the Ecthori, or the farandolae? I wonder if IT will be rendered as a mammoth Brain, far bigger than supposed to be. Or maybe Mrs. Whatsit? Or perhaps Ma Beast? Oh my god! Andy Sorkis as Ma Beast! The motion capture goodness!
Ick.
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